Why Me?!?

Oh, I’ve asked this question.  Especially in the last month.  Why me?  Why is all this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?


It’s only natural.  I can’t think of anything in my life or behavior that could justify it. I asked it just after I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  I’ve asked it during the chemo, and over and over during the quiet hours of the night when I can’t sleep because of the evil going on inside my body.


Wait.  You think I’m talking about the cancer?


I haven’t asked that question about the cancer.  Not once.  Not when it was diagnosed, not during the chemo, not even during the quiet hours of the night when I’m not able to sleep.


I’ve asked that question a million times, though, as I’ve experienced the love, caring, and concern of a thousand friends.  I’ve asked it over and over as the warmth of their actions, words, thoughts, and prayers has washed over me.  I’ve asked it as I’ve tried to comprehend the outpouring of so many wonderful things from so many wonderful people.


As for the cancer, the more appropriate question is “Why not me?”   I’m no more or less deserving of something like this than anyone else.  Period. 


There’s little use contemplating the “why” of the good and bad things in our life.  If they’re bad, contemplate what you’ll do to move beyond them.  If they’re good, be extraordinarily thankful and contemplate how you’ll pass them on.