So how often do we do that as adults? How often do we convince ourselves that the world is unfair (or the boss, or a co-worker, or employee), and we deserve better?
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes we shouldn’t own a particular situation. Sometimes our self-pity really is righteous.
But not often, and if I start with “All I did was…”, I know I’m not owning my part of the situation.
Francis of Assisi had this figured out about 800 years ago when he said ““Grant that I may not so much seek... to be understood, as to understand...” Stephen Covey, in his seminal book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People listed “Seek first to understand, then to be understood as habit #5.
It’s amazing how a brief focus on understanding someone else takes away the sting of a particular situation. It turns the thought process from “I don’t see why” to “I wonder why”.
Instead of a pity party, let’s call it an “I wonder why” party. It’s healthier, it’s more productive, and it’s a heck of a lot more fun.