Trust and Forgiveness

As a teacher, boss, and friend, I give my heart away.  I don’t know how else to live.


It’s dangerous sometimes.  The commitment of trust isn’t always returned, is it?  When someone takes advantage of my trust, especially a kid, it just cuts me in half. 


Every time. 


Early in my teaching career, I could feel my heart telling me, “Don’t do that!  Don’t give that away so easily, because it makes you feel horrible when it isn’t well placed.”  I talked with teachers who said, in one way or another, “I don’t trust any kid.  I’ve been there, and I’m not gonna let that happen ever again.”


But I didn’t like what I saw in those who lived like that.  They tended to be cynical, and didn’t exhibit the joy I wanted to feel in my life.


I talked with my mom about it, and here’s what she said:


“I hope you’re always cut in half when it happens.  My hope for you is that you never see it coming.  How would you rather live your life-as someone who expects the worst from people or the best from people?  You’ll get mostly what you expect, so go on expecting the very best.”


It took me awhile-several years, in fact-to get what she was saying to me.  Since then, I’ve given my heart away a million times, and the handful of times I’ve been blindsided were really painful.  What I gained, though, is so much better.  People and experiences have made my life rich and satisfying, far beyond anything I deserve. 


My mom is pretty smart.