As a teacher, boss, and friend, I give my heart away. I don’t know how else to live.
It’s dangerous sometimes. The commitment of trust isn’t always returned, is it? When someone takes advantage of my trust, especially a kid, it just cuts me in half.
Early in my teaching career, I could feel my heart telling me, “Don’t do that! Don’t give that away so easily, because it makes you feel horrible when it isn’t well placed.” I talked with teachers who said, in one way or another, “I don’t trust any kid. I’ve been there, and I’m not gonna let that happen ever again.”
But I didn’t like what I saw in those who lived like that. They tended to be cynical, and didn’t exhibit the joy I wanted to feel in my life.
I talked with my mom about it, and here’s what she said:
“I hope you’re always cut in half when it happens. My hope for you is that you never see it coming. How would you rather live your life-as someone who expects the worst from people or the best from people? You’ll get mostly what you expect, so go on expecting the very best.”
It took me awhile-several years, in fact-to get what she was saying to me. Since then, I’ve given my heart away a million times, and the handful of times I’ve been blindsided were really painful. What I gained, though, is so much better. People and experiences have made my life rich and satisfying, far beyond anything I deserve.
My mom is pretty smart.